BIG changes.

I haven't blogged in what seems like forever. Consistency clearly isn't my thing, y'all. Almost every ambitious goal I made publicly on this blog for my 30th birthday crashed and burned.

But, they crashed for a great reason. At this time last year, I was almost through my first trimester of my pregnancy with my first baby. In July, we welcomed our son, Silas, into the world. With a new baby comes a new way of thinking, a new way of communicating and a completely new way of life. For our house, it also means some big changes in our work lives.

After nearly three years at my job (at the best company in the world), I've decided to leave. The decision hasn't been easy... big decisions rarely are. Of course, I didn't just wake up one day and decide to stay home with Silas. There were several other factors contributing to it, but at the end of the day, I'm replaceable at work and I'm not replaceable to my sweet boy. That's the bottom line.

In the wake of this decision that I began to make over a year ago when a few things changed at work, I was scared to death. How would we make ends meet? What if I have to go back to work and I have this gaping hole in my resume and no one will want to hire me? Would I lose my identity and "just be a mom" or become some frumpy dump shadow of the productive, bubbly person I one was? I can't tell you the tears I cried over leaving this company.

The people in my company are wonderful. The people in my office specifically are truly amazing. Mostly men, they have taken me under their wings and shown me how real Christian men live their lives. They have seen me become a wife and mother. They grieved with me as I lost two grandparents. These men became my brothers, uncles and surrogate fathers. Coming from a hostile work environment before this, I can recognize how rare this company is. A true gem. Finding that at any time again in the future will be impossible. As I broke the news to the people in my office, ALL of them were supportive and understanding. They will miss me, but they get it. They see the value in supporting family goals over professional ones. These people are really the cream of the crop.

BUT-- my son is my responsibility. He's my ultimate work and it's my job (and my husband's, of course) to make sure he grows up to love God, to be respectful, to have manners and to listen and obey. I can't wait to be his momma all the time. I don't have to rush around in the morning to get both of us ready, brave whatever stupid Iowa weather is awaiting us, deal with morning traffic and drop him at daycare. Then deal with rush hour traffic on the way home, pick him up and then get MAYBE an hour with him before he goes to bed. I'm ready for all of that to be done.

So now you ask, what will I be doing? Well let me tell ya, GOD PROVIDES. As decisions were being made and I slowly started to tell my friends and family, I explained my trepidation to a few of them. To be clear, I actually couldn't tell some people that I was leaving without crying, so it was obvious how scared I was about the move. Sure about it, but scared to death. (Note: It's EXACTLY how I felt when I moved to North Carolina when I was 24. Except I was 24, single, childless and could fit my life into a Kia Spectra. This time was a little different). Anyway, a few friends have entrusted me to help with their businesses. I'll be working two part time jobs in addition to being home with Silas and a friend's baby. I am SO HUMBLED by the path God has led us down as a result of leaving work!

I don't want to be viewed as "just a stay at home mom." I want purpose. I want people to view me doing something worthwhile. In fact, the stigma is already showing. Several people, when they ask with excitement what my next step is, totally check out when I tell them I'll be working from home with Silas. Their eyes glaze over. They ask no clarifying questions because it's not interesting; no one cares. If I were leaving to go to another company, it would be, "what will you be doing?" or, "tell me more about it!" In this situation, they assume I'll be watching awful daytime TV in yoga pants covered in spit up. And you know what? That's okay. Let 'em think that.

I don't know that any of this will work. I don't know that I'll love being home every day. Really, who loves EVERY day of their job? No one. But, my family will be in a great place as a family. I can follow some dreams I've had for some time and work to make them a reality. If at the end of the day it doesn't work, then at least I will have tried. As it turns out, I HAVE purpose and my work is MORE than worthwhile.

Generosity at it's finest

I posted a few weeks ago about appropriate things to say to pregnant women. It's a good one. Read, share, learn it. Knowledge is power, y'all.

Anyway, in that post, I talked about how people can be kind of inappropriate without realizing it because they are EXCITED for your baby and this big change in your life. I realized today that I have some pretty fantastic people that have shown their excitement in a wonderful, normal and APPROPRIATE way.

They give us things.

That sounds greedy, but when you have your first baby, the vast expanse of choices can be OVERWHELMING. Just looking at something as simple as diaper bags can take you forever. At least, much longer than your pre-expecting self thought you'd ever mull over a diaper bag purchase. When I started sharing news of our bundle of joy, a new overwhelming feeling took over. I was overwhelmed with people volunteering their product knowledge and actual baby things with us.

- My sister offered up her crib. Her boys are 11, 10 and 8 now, so she has no use for it.
- A co-worker and his wife are selling us a breast pump and giving us a bouncer and a bumbo seat.
- A great friend gave me several sacks of maternity clothes in my hour of need. Seriously... it's like I have a whole new wardrobe with the pieces she offered.

People are thrilled to get rid of their gently used baby things Usually, they are done growing their family and have these extra items laying around. They want to see someone get some use out of it! Luckily for us, we are on the "old" end of the spectrum in the Midwest for beginning a family, so many of our friends have children already or are completely done having children. (There IS a bright side to waiting to have a baby, friends! --actually there are many, but that's a different post for another day) That's how they are showing their excitement and love and for that, I am forever grateful. There's enough happening in life right now just growin' this little person that they've taken some guess work out of a lot of decisions. They've saved us money. They've saved us stress and research.

THANK YOU to you all! And if you're pregnant and friends are giving you love in the same way, pay it forward when you're finished!

A message from a Proud Grown Up

If you've made it to my age, 29, you probably know some of your peers that totally have their lives in order, seem completely organized and really kind of rock at everything they do. You probably know  other peers that are living life on repeat as a 21 year old.

Congratulations to all of those people. Seriously, no judgment either way. It's your life, man. LIVE IT.

Most days, I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle. I own clothes and shoes older than my student loans. I struggle to keep track of tax documents and other important items that should probably be filed in a sophisticated office in my home. I really enjoy sugary cereals and being in my pajamas all weekend. But, I'm also asleep by 10 most nights, I enjoy watching the news and HGTV and yes, I am not above being organized enough to use coupons from time to time to save a few bucks (and then get REALLY excited about it).

This weekend, I got the opportunity to celebrate the first real ADULT milestone birthday, 30(!!) with one of my best friends from college. Note, she's a friend from college. Where terrible decisions and awesome memories were made. Where some stories should never really be told or even mentioned outside a close circle of friends who really "get" where you were in life at that point to really not pass judgment on your stupidity. Where poor and wonderful alike decisions were a pre-requisite to graduation. Where "responsibilities" like deadlines and projects seemed like such heavy burdens at the time and are almost laughable at this point in life. Where those same responsibilities were outweighed by mid-day naps and wearing sweatpants pretty much anywhere was socially acceptable.  Where lifelong friendships were made. College was a magical place for many and my experience wasn't much different.

When I get together with friends from college, we obviously spend time walking down memory lane and retelling the stories of those days. There were times shortly after college when I thought life probably wouldn't get any better than those 4 years. Each year for Homecoming, I return to my college town with the same friend I met up with this weekend. We use the time to reconnect, in the spirit of maintaining our friendship. It's NOT to drink ourselves silly or relive the good ol' days. It's to make sure we have a solid friendship.

Anyway, this past weekend, I went out to dinner with this friend and we talked about where we are in life now. We are both married. We are both homeowners. She's a new mom to a 2 month old. I'm not far from Mommy status. Home projects are more important to us than a night out. It's just where we are in life and we agreed, WE ARE TOTALLY OKAY WITH THIS. 

Some people wouldn't be, if they were us...many people would feel trapped and like they are missing out on fun elsewhere. The thing is, we know what we're missing and we'd both choose where we are now in life than anything. Why? Because we've been there, done that... and quickly got over it. We're proud grown-ups that are in bed by 10pm and pride ourselves on organized closets. We REALLY appreciate estate and garage sales and Panera in the morning.

We have both experienced judgment from others... "I could NOT do what you're doing." Well, we couldn't do what you're doing. And that's ok... we are in different places in life. This doesn't mean we don't appreciate a good night out or college-humor movies, our priorities have shifted and we've evolved past that being our whole lifestyle.

Go Bearcats,
A proud adult

Protein Deliciousness

Happy Monday, all! I am so excited to tell you about a recipe that I had for the first time last summer but I've kind of forgotten how AWESOME it is. I can't take any credit for it... my brother and sister-in-law introduced us to this deliciousness (<-- yep, that's a word) on our annual summer family vacation last summer.

Here's why, at this time in life in particular, that I love this recipe.
   a. It's protein packed. Almonds, granola, and cottage cheese are all included in this recipe, so it's an amazing snack that makes my baby doctor happy.
   b. It's amazing. It's sweet, it's crunchy, it's like a healthy, guilt-free dessert.
   c. My husband likes it. As you know, I'm always looking for healthy things that both my husband and I like that I can make ahead of time so we are more prepared for our schedules. Mission accomplished with this recipe!

I've been craving this lately, so this weekend on our trip to the grocery store, we made sure to pick up all the ingredients. Sunday, I prepped breakfasts for the hubs and this granola salad for both of us. Any other time I've made this it's been in one giant bowl, but this time around, I divided it into smaller Tupperware containers, so the fella and I can grab and go each day.

So.... as always, check out the recipe page for this recipe! You won't be sorry!!

Appropriate Things to Say to Pregnant Women

Being pregnant, at least in my case, is like getting a new car. You're SO excited for this new step in your life and then you realize that so many others on the road have the same car. Or in this case, are also pregnant.

I've inwardly had a few choice words for people after some thoughtless comments made to me about my experience, and lately, these other pregnant women have voiced some of theirs on Facebook or to me directly. I don't want to use this blog as a forum for complaints, so I'm not going to. Rather, I'm using it as a soapbox to announce the appropriate things to say to pregnant women.

Almost 26 weeks!

Pregnancy is a thrilling time, especially if it's the first baby and this is a totally new experience for the mom. If you have kids in your life, you have loads of knowledge to drop on this woman. But generally, you know how exciting it is. Let me just say, we get it. You're excited too! So excited, in fact, that you say some of the worst possible things in the name of sisterhood or bonding or whatever.

"Your belly is huge" I know you mean this as some sort of commentary on what gender of baby I'm carrying, but please. I am fully aware of how large my belly is. I am the one that dresses myself each day after all, standing in my closet just hoping something will fit, let alone look nice/ be appropriate for the occasion. I'm the one rolling off the couch now instead of quickly standing up like I used to. I'm the one that can't bend over and pick something off the floor or paint my toes. Those (and many other) tasks have to be modified to account for my baby bump. So, whether or not it's a boy or girl isn't really that exciting when you comment on how enormous I'm getting.

"You're carrying all over" This one is even worse. In the same vein as the above point, this one is meant to determine what gender you're carrying. Those Old Wives Tales are fun, friends, but they are total nonsense. NONSENSE. I did a bunch and it's an even split of boy or girl for me. So, the fact that not only my belly is huge, but my face is puffy, my arms are morphing into walrus fins and my ankles are showing signs of swelling is not helpful.

"You're only ____ weeks? I thought you were further along! You have a LONG WAY to go yet."  Yet another brilliant comment about my size. I get it. No need to say it. And yes, I have another trimester to go....and I'm due in the hottest month of the year. So just shut it.

"You look tired." This is a slap in the face regardless of maternal status. It's a polite and subtle way of saying you look awful. Since we're talking pregnancy, why yes, I AM TIRED. I'm working all day and because of my obviously giant belly, I'm not sleeping very comfortably. I'm also growing a human so it's amazing I even have the energy to simply smile and say, "I am" when confronted with this statement. And, in response to my polite, "I am," please don't say, "it's not going to get any better once the baby comes" Oh, it's not? I thought the babies were born sleeping through the night and with the knowledge to raise themselves. I know. I'm never going to be the same level of rested again. Actually, at this point in my pregnancy, I feel really great-- my energy level is high and there are days when I feel more attractive than ever. I know... weird. It's a thing though because other women have told me about their experience. So, please don't tell me how awful I look. It's discouraging.

"Your body will never be the same." Well your mouth will never possess tactful words. That's just plain rude and you know it.
   There are things happening to a pregnant woman's body that are completely out of her control. She could eat healthy, exercise as directed and get plenty of rest and some things just can't be helped. UNDERSTAND THIS, PLEASE. As much as she's trying to stay fit while pregnant, some women just grow differently. Pregnancy is a beautiful, miraculous, amazing experience no matter what. Please don't discourage that awesomeness with your rudeness.

Any question at all about the personal details of the pregnancy/birth plan she and her partner have decided upon. (*disclaimer: this doesn't apply to care providers of any kind, obviously, or immediate family in my case. If my mother or sisters have questions, I'll answer them.) You guys, this is personal information about her body. It's not your business if she has stretch marks. It's not your business what position she's planning to give birth in. When it comes close to delivery, don't ask her if she's dilated. If it has to do with her BODY, it's. not. your. business. She doesn't ask you any personal questions about your annual physical or your colonoscopy. It's medical information that's none of her business. Now, some people may feel perfectly comfortable sharing that information. I'm not. It's personal. Unless she offers it up, please don't ask.
   The best story I heard of this is a friend that recently had her third baby. A co-worker asked her from across the lobby (she works at a credit union) how effaced she was. My friend marched over to her and said in what I can imagine to be a kind, but assertive voice, "The only thing you need to know is that I'm still pregnant." I feel like this is the perfect response to this situation.

Here are a few examples of positive and helpful things you can say to a pregnant woman, if you feel compelled to talk only about her pregnancy. Obviously, don't say these things if you don't believe they are true. Don't patronize her and lie.

1. Pregnancy looks good on you.
2. You look great! You can also use words like beautiful, stunning, and pretty....we won't be mad about it.
3. I can't believe you're already ___ weeks along! Time flies! Are you excited?
4. You're all belly. (This is helpful because no matter how she's carrying the baby, she feels like a cow. If she's all belly, that's better than how she really feels!)
5. You look great! (I know I write that twice, but it really is the best thing to say.)

Every mom is different, just like every pregnancy is different. Some people will feel fine fielding these types of comments, but in general, I'd say stay away from any negative editorial comments. It's really not helpful or nice. Pregnant women are dealing with a lot of change at once; in their bodies, with their hormones, not to mention all the lifestyle changes that are happening/will happen when the baby comes. On top of that, we ARE tired and there is a lot on our plates. Please know that even while she may take those comments in stride, they can be hurtful and might cause her unnecessary stress. Just be kind!

Meal Planning When Life is...Life.

Happy Spring, y'all! I don't know about you, but I'm THRILLED winter is over. For me, it's the beginning of a new season, the start of a few projects around my house, renewed energy to shop/cook/eat a bit better (let's face winter in the Midwest = carbs and forgiving sweatpants) AND the start of my third trimester!

Pregnancy is the weirdest. My husband says that I take better care of myself than I ever have before. I get more sleep (sometimes that's out of my control. Don't judge). I eat better, drink more water and less pop, and exercise more intentionally. Isn't it crazy that it takes my expecting a child to invest in my one and only body? I'm trying to be the healthiest mom I can be, while still indulging here and there!

In my house, we do our best to meal plan. I make sure I make dinner on the nights my husband is home, crock pot meal on Mondays, plan for leftovers for Thursday nights (cleaning night!) and do something  "fun" and easy on the weekends (like homemade flatbread pizza). I take into consideration our giant abundance of social commitments so I know when we're eating out. It sounds pretty easy, right?

Now howsabout this monkey wrench- my husband's schedule can often change without a lot of notice, so I'm stuck with all this food and no one to cook for. Or, overhauling the whole menu and adjusting as necessary. It's really NOT that big of a deal, but I do put some, energy and thought into that menu, so changing it constantly gets frustrating.

So after a little squabbling about it, we decided I'm only planning to have the fixin's for a handful of dinners per week, still planning for leftovers for lunches. That way, I'm not dead set on spaghetti or whatever on Tuesday night, but I have everything ready to go to make it just in case.

Right now, we take a birth class on Monday and Wednesday nights. Two separate classes, because obviously we're crazy. Actually, they are fun. The Monday night class was recommended to me by about 4 people as soon as I announced our pregnancy. It's eye-opening and educational for those of use that have never witnessed a birth (no, Call the Midwife doesn't count). It's great for the dads, too, so they know what to expect through the process. The Wednesday night class is Spiritual Birth Class and that's so cool because it readjusts you focus back to a Christ-centered birth. It's amazing how quickly that can take a back seat to the overwhelming racket that is preparing for a baby. Seriously.

ANYWHO. Monday nights. We decided we would keep dinners simple because of the aforementioned commitment and we'd plan for crock pot meals. I've talked briefly about my adventures (sometimes misadventures) with this device. There are some really delicious meals you can get out of one of these gadgets, but also some real duds.

Last night we tried one that was pretty good if I do say so myself. Crock Pot Greek Pitas. Easy to prepare and fast to eat.

The whole recipe is in the recipes tab. Like always, I tweaked it a little bit to suit our tastes and to make up for a couple of ingredients I thought we had but didn't. Here's how I changed it...

- It calls for lemon pepper, which of course we didn't have. So I used pepper and little lemon juice.
- It calls for allspice, which we didn't have (although I swear I saw it! I gotta organize that spice cupboard), so I decided to forego that altogether.

- It calls for onions, but the hubs doesn't eat them. But I can get away with onion powder, so that's what I did!
- I forgot the dang feta cheese, but that would have made this AMAZINGGGGG.

The best part about any meal in my house is it's qualification for good, easy to pack and eat leftovers. I snapped this picture of Randy's lunch I packed last night. Two pitas and some delicious strawberries fit perfectly in a deep square Tupperware container.

I'm always looking for awesome recipes or tips on how to make recipes HEALTHIER, so send 'em my way!

What Pregnancy Means for Fitness

I know I've chatted about my pregnancy a few times on my blog and even more on my Facebook page, but it's where I am in life right now, so it's what I know... or at least, what I'm learning. Because let's face it, pregnancy is a different beast for everyone.

I say that because not one pregnancy is the same from another. Right now, I have a large handful of friends that are pregnant and pretty close in their due dates. Each one of us is going through something different. Some gain lots of weight and others gain only in the belly. Some have a lot of morning sickness, others don't. Some have crazy cravings, others are perfectly fine sticking with their regular diets. These differences teach a very hard lesson (that I've been trying to learn for years now) that comparing yourself to others is absolutely useless.

So if every pregnancy is different, then why are there so many pregnancy books, blogs, websites, "experts" and classes? If we can't nail down a "typical" pregnancy, how can anyone learn from those?

So, here's what I've learned:
   - Under no circumstances whatsoever should you Google ANYTHING about your pregnancy health. It will scare the living daylights out of you and you'll become convinced that your child will be the one born with (insert especially rare birth defect here). Seriously. Call your care provider or someone that has been pregnant before. You'll thank yourself.
   - Knowledge is power. People take these classes, read the books and troll websites because they want to learn. The more you learn, the more you are able to discern what is unusual and what is fairly common in most pregnancies.

Ok, so my husband and I are taking 2 birth classes, reading books, and taking a tour of the hospital where we will officially become a family of three. But how can I stay on track with my goals while nourishing another human inside my body with seemingly no control over weight gain and all the bizarre things that are happening to my body?

   - My husband made the comment the other day that I'm taking better care of myself than I ever have before. Meaning, I am hyper-aware of what food I'm eating and how much of it I eat. I am not dieting. In fact, if I want ice cream, I indulge and I don't feel bad about it. However, I find that I can't eat big portions of pretty much anything, so I eat lots of tiny portions daily and I *try* to get protein in everything I eat.
    GUYS. Did you know it's recommended that pregnant women consume 100g of protein a DAY? ONE HUNDRED GRAMS! I tracked my protein intake on the first day of counting this-- yogurt, oatmeal, string cheese, egg-- right at noon, I had consumed only 11.3g of protein. Yikes. I learned quickly that I have to step up my game.
    Obviously, it's suggested that we eat the healthiest and cleanest that we can-- what you eat, your baby eats, so you want to be as healthy as possible. It's also recommended that we drink four quarts of water daily. That's 128 ounces of water daily. That's a lot of water! But honestly, soda makes me feel kind of gross at this point, so maybe this pregnancy will force me to develop super healthy habits and it'll help after I have the baby.

   - Exercise is harder than ever. Personally, I am scared to do anything too strenuous during this time. So, I walk a lot. I could be walking a lot more, but I do what I can. A lot of activity, even just walking, really wears me out. I feel awesome, but I'm exhausted afterwards. But, I keep trying to force myself to move a little every day. The walk tends to be more over a waddle at the end of my "work out," but something is better than nothing!
   - I am refocusing (again) on my Beachbody coaching. Personally, I know that I need the accountability to make healthy choices for myself, and doing everything as a group is more fun, so I'm working to bring people on board with me. People would want to be healthy for themselves, their kids, their futures, etc. After all, you only get one body, so you have to invest in it! I plan to put together a postpartum challenge group after the baby comes so I can get back on track. PLUS-- I know so many mommas-to-be that will be going through the same thing around the same time. We all need each other!

Pregnancy doesn't mean you're doomed to have a squishy body forever...although that's tough to remember when you have to roll off the couch just to stand up. But don't stress about your weight when you are expecting a little one...focus on your healthiest you!